It’s Been Three Years and We’ve Grown!

Just over three years ago we opened our doors and began offering therapeutic services to individuals in and around Frederick. We’ve grown over these years and thought it would be a good time to let you know a little about each of our clinicians and the services they offer.

Elise Abromson, PsyD:

Elise is a Licensed Psychologist whose passion is working with children, teens, and families. Her specialties include Attention Behavior Difficulties, Depression, Anxiety, Issues Related to Divorce, Social Skills Development, and Parenting Skills. . . . Ext 1018

Kiesha Edmonds, RMP, NCTMB:

Kiesha is a skilled massage practitioner who specializes in therapies such as deep tissue, muscle release, myofacial, sports massage, and Swedish massage. She also offers seated massage at corporate or party events. . . . Ext 1016

Kristi Hallman, LCSW-C:

Kristi provides individual and group therapy for children, adolescents and their families using a combination of talk and creative therapies. Kristi has a gift for building relationships and sees this connection with children and their families as essential to the healing process. . . . Ext 1012

Jess Heckerman, NCC:

Jess is fluent in American Sign Language (ASL). She provides individual and group therapy for Deaf/Hard of Hearing/Hearing children, adolescents, and their families. She believes that as a therapist, it is her role to reach out to children and meet them at their current levels and needs. . . . Ext 1024

Marie Kish, LCPC:

Marie brings a diversity of life experiences to her counseling practice. Her own familiarity with living overseas has enhanced her sensitivity to client cultural and relationship challenges. She especially enjoys working with individuals and couples to help them find creative solutions to difficult relationship issues. . . . Ext 1014

Pam McDonald, LCSW-C:

Pam provides individual, couples, and group therapy for adults. Her approach is strengths-based and encourages clients to access their inner wisdom and creativity to create positive, sustainable change in their lives. . . . Ext 1022

Lynne Ramirez, LGSW:

Lynne provides individual group and family therapy for teens, young adults and adults. She believes that therapy is a collaborative process where her role as a therapist is to assist with unlocking the hidden strengths and skills of each person as they rediscover the life they enjoy living again. . . . Ext 1026

Claire Wilhide, LCPC:

Claire provides psychotherapy for adults and older teens. Essential to her approach to therapy is creating a comfortable, safe, and trusting therapeutic relationship in which one can feel heard and understood. She emphasizes developing a curious, compassionate stance toward oneself that allows for greater clarity and deeper meaning to emerge from life’s complexities. . . . Ext 1020

Zoë Worrell, LCSW-C:

Zoë is the owner/creator of Healing Circles Wellness Center and offers individual, couple, and group psychotherapy for adults. Her work and art as a therapist involves creating a safe, supportive setting that allows an individual to explore areas of concern and promotes the opportunity for healing, change and growth. Her areas of experience and expertise are with depression, anxiety, relationship issues, addiction, and trauma. . . . Ext 1301

Helpful Tips When Sending Your Kids to Camp

Summer camps are often a highlight for kids during their school break. However, sending kids off to camp can prove stressful for both children and parents. Here are some tips from Reader’s Digest to help make your family’s experience a good one this summer!

Prepare your child ahead of time:

Talk with your child about his upcoming experience before he leaves. Discuss his concerns. Highlight his strengths, and explain that he’ll be able to build on these skills and develop new ones at camp. Talk about problems he may have had at school and how he can better handle them at camp.

Pack smart:

Most camps will provide a packing list of items your child will need. Work off that list, but also involve your child in the packing process. Allow her to bring a stuffed animal or blanket she may be attached to.

Send in paperwork early:

Most good camps will ask you to fill out forms to let them know how your child reacts to stressful situations, how she interacts with others, etc. Be sure to send these and all medical forms in early to give counselors time to study them.

Keep goodbyes brief:

When you drop your child off, check out his cabin and help him settle in. Then put on a brave face, tell him he’ll have a great time, and leave. Lingering too long will make the goodbye even harder.

Keep communication positive:

Sending a daily letter or email to tell your child about what’s going on at home will only remind her of what she’s missing. Likewise, saying how much you, her siblings, and the dog misses her will make her sad. So limit communication to a few times per week. When you do write, be positive and focus on her experience. Tell her you hope she’s having fun and that you can’t wait to see pictures. It would also help to slip a letter into her suitcase or to mail one ahead of time so it’s waiting for her when she gets there.

Follow the rules:

Many camps have policies about whether family members can call and what can be sent in a care package. Don’t be the annoying parent who breaks the rules—your child will be the one to suffer for it.

Don’t give your child an easy way out:

It’s tempting to tell your child you will bring him home if he’s not having fun after a week or two. But doing so will make him less likely to stick around, even if he is having a great time. Short bursts of homesickness are common, and camp counselors usually know how to handle them. They will contact you if they feel your child really needs to come home.

Research the camp:

If you would still like to send your child to camp this summer, it may not be too late. Even the most popular camps sometimes have cancellations. To find a reputable camp, visit campparents.org, a Web site created by the American Camp Association (ACA). The site lists camps that are accredited by the ACA.

From: Readers Digest Online

Therapy Group Being Offered

Writing as a Tool for Growth Therapy Group

This new therapy group will offer adult participants an opportunity to explore places where they are stuck in their lives or in need of healing through the creative act of writing.

The group will offer a sacred and safe space for sharing insights and growth from each person’s writing process. Writing activities will be designed to assist participants in accessing their inner guidance and finding their authentic voice.

No writing experience necessary!

Please call Pam McDonald, LCSW-C, for more information at 301-712-9015, x1022.

The group will meet weekly for 10 weeks on Tuesdays from 6-7:15 p.m. Starting date to be announced. Cost: $60/session.

Recommended Reading

You are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment

By: Thich Nhat Hanh Shambala Publications, Inc.

In this book Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Zen monk, author, and meditation master, distill the essence of Buddhist thought and practice, emphasizing the power of mindfulness to transform lives. “Mindfulness is not an evasion or an escape,’ he explains. ‘It means being here, present, and totally alive. It is true freedom—and without freedom, there is no happiness.”

Based on a retreat that Thich Nhat Hanh led for Westerners, this book offers a range of simple, effective practices for cultivating mindfulness, including awareness of breathing, walking, deep listening, and skillful speech. You are Here also offers guidance on healing emotional pain and manifesting real love and compassion in our relationships with others.

Simple, warm, direct, and startlingly potent, this book reveals the heart of the Buddhist path and helps us to reconnect with the joy and wonder of being alive, regardless of life’s changing circumstances.

- Taken from inside flap of You are Here

Tips for Nurturing Emotional Intelligence & Resiliency in Children

As much as we would like to protect our children from all stress and conflict, it is not possible. We, therefore, need to strive to raise children who are resilient and have the skills and confidence to handle life's challenges.

Self-Esteem

Provide your child with unconditional love. Acknowledge that each of us has our own temperament, personality and capabilities. Strive to nurture each child's unique gifts. Provide frequent positive feedback and encouragement.

Emotions

Help children recognize and identify feelings in themselves and others. Teach them to express their feelings in a positive and respectful way. There are a variety of ways to do this, for example, read stories about emotions and emotional situations, encourage them to express their feelings through art and play, express your own emotions in a positive way, and reflect their feelings ("you seem sad that...").

Empathy

Before trying to correct or teach a value or behavior, try to see the world through your child's eyes. Validating his/her feelings and beliefs builds self-esteem, opens the lines of communication and models having empathy and respect for others.

Positive Communication

Actively listen to children by allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings and then reflecting back your understanding. Teach children positive ways to express their feelings such as "I statements" (I feel ________ when __________). Model respect for different opinions and beliefs by refraining from using negative adjectives when expressing a differing point of view.

Conflicts

Help children recognize that conflicts are a part of life. Don't dismiss the conflict by saying "it's not a big deal", ignore the conflict in the hopes that it will go away or "fix" the situation on your own. Instead acknowledge the feelings and thoughts related to the conflict and help your child find a way to resolve the situation. It may be uncomfortable, but if the conflict is resolved in a positive way, your child will be stronger for the experience.

Problem Solving

Help your children solve problems rather than rushing to fix problems for them. Help them identify the problem, generate possible solutions, choose a solution/plan of action and then evaluate the outcome. This process can be applied to simple tasks such as choosing a book to read or game to play or more difficult situations such as how to respond to a bully at school.

Mistakes

Let your child make mistakes! Help children understand that no one is perfect. Allow mistakes to be an opportunity for learning.

Parenting

As parents it is important to be aware of and address our own anxieties and discomforts so that we are able to be fully present and positive in helping our children in the above areas.

By: Kristi Hallman, LCSW-C

301-712-9015, Ext 1012

www.KristiHallman.com

7 Steps to Influence Your Partner to Change

Getting your partner to change often seems so difficult to do. Perhaps that’s because when we ask them to change something we start with an expectation of how it’s in their best interest to do so and “if you really loved me you would change this behavior”. This often creates a power struggle where both partners lose. But it is possible to create a win-win situation.

So here is a 7 step process from The Couples Institute to help you create a change in your partner. The key to success here is that the process helps your partner feel motivated to change instead of feeling coerced.

Here’s what you do.

1. Make a list of the top three things your partner does that annoy you. For example, drops clothes around the house; gives you the silent treatment; doesn’t do their share of household tasks, etc. Then, select the one problem that has the best chance of your partner responding to your unhappiness. Only focus on one problem at a time. Let’s go for a common one here and say the problem is that your partner is not pulling their weight around the house.

2. Describe the problem in clear detail. This includes what your partner does and your reaction to the problem. For example: “Honey, Can we talk about a problem that is bothering me? When you come home from work it seems like you start reading the mail, change your clothes, turn on the TV, or return a phone call without looking around and noticing the kids are cranky, squalling for dinner, and I’m swamped just getting dinner ready. You never seem to notice what’s going on around you. This problem has persisted for over a year now with little relief in sight.”

3. Describe your reaction to the problem. “When you act so oblivious, I think you are so selfish and I feel angry, alone, and resentful. It hurts me that you can’t see I need help. When I feel that way I end up being chilly to you and withdrawing any spontaneous signs of affection. I don’t like how I react but that is what I have been doing.”

Here is the “formula” for describing the problem.

A) You have specified the behavior of “not pulling his weight” by giving specific examples.

B) You have given your reaction to it by stating: “when you do (the behavior) I think_____ (forexample, you’re inconsiderate...) and I feel _____ (for example, angry, alone, resentful), and then I do _____(for example, withhold affection). It is important to let your partner know what your complete response is to the behavior that is a problem. Especially let them know what you do when you think and feel the way you do. This really informs your partner of the consequence to them when they do the undesired behavior. Include in your reaction the meaning of the problem for you. For example, not pulling their weight represents not being loved, respected, or valued.

4. Be empathetic. Tell your partner why you think that it would be hard for them to change the undesired behavior. This lets them know you see the problem from both perspectives and that you have an appreciation for what you’re asking them to change.

For example, “Honey, I think pitching in when you get home would be difficult because you feel depleted and want some time to yourself in order to regenerate. I think pitching in at the level I want is a lot to ask of you.”

5. Describe how you will help. Because you’re not just going to make a request and then hopefor the best, (this hasn’t been successful in the past, neither has been nagging or pleading) the next step is to describe what you will do to help your partner make the change you want. For example, “Honey, your pitching in is so important to me when you get home that I will do _____________ .” (Fill in here something that you think will be a high motivator for your partner to make the requested change.)

6. Ask if they are willing to make the change you’re requesting. They may agree to all or part or none of your request. They might say “no” to you but would be more willing to consider the change if you offered a different motivator or inducement to change. Then you

can decide if it is worth your efforts.

7. Find out why. Regardless of whether they are willing to change or not, ask why. Knowing why they are willing to change will help you understand what motivates them. You’ll be able toencourage them more effectively along the way. If they don’t want to change, finding out why will help you determine how to move forward. In that case you still have 2 more options. One, you can ask if this is a temporary or more permanent condition. If it seems there will be no change for now, let them know the consequences — how you think, feel and act — and then drop it for now. The second option is to go to the second problem on your list and repeat the sequence described above.

Of course the biggest improvements in a couples’ relationship come when both people change and grow. But there are often things you’d like your partner to change, and this format helps you do it in a way that supports both of you.

Adapted by Marie Kish

Original article written by Ellyn Bader, Ph.D. and Peter Pearson,